Winter Biker
In article <azw.3693.043D4286@aber.ac.uk> azw@aber.ac.uk
(Andy Woodward) writes:
- >>As an experiment, try drinking a lot of water
just before you go out for
- >>one of those long rides. Yeah, you may have
to do more pit stops but
- >>that is preferable to headaches.
- >Not in winter with about 6 layers to excavate
before you can find anything......
One of the great winter comedies in Britain is to be
found in the gents toilets on motorway service stations.
Bikers come waddling in dressed like the Michelin man
and start tearing off their clothes with frozen hands
to have a pee. It's odd how you can ride for miles needing
a pee sometime soon, and then as soon as you get off the
bike you find you have about ten seonds before you piss
yourself. While the biker is struggling through the layers
other people are flushing toilets, washing their hands,
pissing in the urinals, all those lovely watery sloshing
splashing sounds.....
Will the biker succeed in getting his dick out before
he pisses himself? It's like one of those Japanese game
shows. A big strategic choice is whether to take the overtrousers
off completely, which takes time, or to save time by taking
them only below the knee, but if it's a wall-and-gutter
type of urinal you then have to use a toilet which takes
longer again.
The biker manages to get his overtrousers down below
his knees! He makes the toilet choice! He starts shuffling
towards the cubicle! Someone flushes another toilet! He
winces and stumbles but manages to hold it in! He fumbles
madly at the zip on his jeans but his hands are too cold
to find the zipper thing! Someone turns on a tap in a
basin! He throws open the cubicle door with legs twisted
together in anguish! There's a kid in the cubicle already
who didn't lock the door! The kid flushes the toilet!
Oh no!
Doesn't NASA have some kind of neat device so spacemen
don't fill up their suits with widdle? Has anyone thought
of marketing this for winter biking? -- Chris Malcolm
cam@uk.ac.ed.aifh +44 (0)31 650 3085 Department of Artificial
Intelligence, Edinburgh University 5 Forrest Hill, Edinburgh,
EH1 2QL, UK DoD #205 "The mind reigns, but does not
govern" -- Paul Valery
